{"id":474,"date":"2010-06-15T16:36:07","date_gmt":"2010-06-16T00:36:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lisabrounstein.com\/blog\/?p=474"},"modified":"2010-06-15T16:36:07","modified_gmt":"2010-06-16T00:36:07","slug":"hollywood-forever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.lisabrounstein.com\/?p=474","title":{"rendered":"Hollywood Forever"},"content":{"rendered":"

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When I ditched my life in San Diego to follow and pursue my dreams of being an actor, writer and comedian I had no idea what was ahead of me. \u00a0 When I look back now it is hard to believe I have done all that I have done. \u00a0 I am definitely grateful for the life I have lived and the opportunities I have had. \u00a0 It has been quite a ride and I look forward to what’s next. \u00a0 It’s also not lost on me how incredibly fortunate I am to have been able to fulfill on living this dream. \u00a0 Even if the dream isn’t complete…yet.<\/p>\n

Not long after I moved here I was driving down Santa Monica Blvd. \u00a0 I was kind of freaking out. \u00a0 I was all alone here. \u00a0 I didn’t know many people in Los Angeles. In fact, when I moved here I had two friends who lived here and some family, who I never saw. \u00a0 So, here I am driving along and there are tons of people out. \u00a0 I think it was a Saturday. \u00a0 I almost felt like I could hear people talking. \u00a0 Not to belittle or diminish schizophrenics but I definitely felt like I was hearing voices. \u00a0 It certainly was an anxiety filled moment. \u00a0 I turned the radio on really loud and sang along to ease the ensuing panic. My heart was racing so I pulled into the first place I could find. \u00a0 It turned out to be the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. \u00a0 It’s a funny place for a cemetery. \u00a0 It’s right in the heart of things behind Paramount Studios. \u00a0 People like Jayne Mansfield and Rudolf Valentino are buried there. \u00a0 And, so are my great-grandparents. \u00a0 I am named for my great-grandfather Louis…who I never met. \u00a0 But somehow it seemed appropriate that in the middle of my lonely, anxiety, fraught freak-out I would end up at their grave site. \u00a0 They are interred in one of the Jewish mausoleums there. \u00a0 Is it odd to say that talking to a wall filled with dead people I have never met helped my loneliness and anxiety? \u00a0 Well, it did. \u00a0 I drove away from there feeling much, much better. \u00a0 Not to be overly dramatic and significant but it felt like the loneliness and the uncertainty lifted.<\/p>\n

When I got home I had a message on my answering machine. \u00a0 It was someone singing really loud to the song Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel. \u00a0 I listened to it over and over again. \u00a0 How odd!! \u00a0 While I was at a cemetery someone left a message singing Who Will Save Your Soul. \u00a0 It must have been a sign. \u00a0 It must have been something supernatural! \u00a0 No. \u00a0 It was me. \u00a0 Yes, I had somehow called myself in the heat of the anxiety I was having and left myself a message of my very loud and out of tune rendition of Who Will Save Your Soul. \u00a0 Looking back, those voices I was hearing while driving was probably me on my outgoing message. \u00a0 It was a very funny moment in this journey. \u00a0 I guess the answer to the question of “Who Will Save Your Soul” (not really yours…) \u00a0 is and was ME. \u00a0 That is if you believe in that whole soul saving thing.<\/p>\n

Today, the day after a great audition, rather than sulk all day and sit by the phone, I had to run errands. \u00a0 You know, life errands. \u00a0 Someone has to grocery shop and someone had to pay the storage rent. \u00a0 Ooh, me, let me do it! \u00a0 I had a hard time getting out of the house after having a hard time getting out of bed. \u00a0 Once showered and coffeed and having had a couple of long phone conversations and having checked my emails I set out for Hollywood. \u00a0 It has been a while since I stopped in to see my great-grandparents and I thought today would be a good day since it is on the way to my storage unit. \u00a0 Traffic was nuts so as I zipped by the cemetery I saw they were shooting Dexter there. \u00a0 How do I know? \u00a0 The tell-tale bright yellow signs with “Dexter” printed on them indicating that Dexter was shooting there. \u00a0 After paying my storage bill I was able to pull into the cemetery on my way back. \u00a0 A guard stopped me. \u00a0 I explained I was going to see my great-grandparents and pointed to the mausoleum where they are interred. \u00a0 It was on the opposite end of the cemetery from where they were shooting. \u00a0 Truly, the last thing I wanted is to be in the way of one of the greatest shows on television. \u00a0 The writing and the acting on that show is like going to school for me! \u00a0 The guard told me where I could park. \u00a0 As I was driving over another guard stopped me. \u00a0 There was no where to park after all. \u00a0 And, again, the last thing I wanted was to be in the way. \u00a0 So, I told the guy, “No problem. \u00a0 They’re dead…I can come back another time.” \u00a0 He was very sweet saying something like “it’s the thought that counts” or something gushy.<\/p>\n

So, now what? \u00a0 Well, I continue to look for work. \u00a0 I continue to write…I have some new ideas. \u00a0 I heard from the producer we are doing another staged reading of the play I am in. \u00a0 There is a lot to do to fill a day and I never seem to get it all done. \u00a0 \u00a0 In the immediate future, I will cook dinner. \u00a0 Really, my life is very exciting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I ditched my life in San Diego to follow and pursue my dreams of being an actor, writer and comedian I had no idea what was ahead of me. \u00a0 When I look back now it is hard to believe I have done all that I have done. \u00a0 I am definitely grateful for… Continue reading Hollywood Forever<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[6,13,14,21,26,27,33,34,41],"class_list":["post-474","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-in-los-angeles","tag-acting","tag-audition","tag-bbw","tag-dexter","tag-fat","tag-fat-girl","tag-hollywood","tag-hollywood-forever","tag-los-angeles","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lisabrounstein.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/474","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lisabrounstein.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lisabrounstein.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lisabrounstein.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lisabrounstein.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=474"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lisabrounstein.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/474\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lisabrounstein.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=474"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lisabrounstein.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=474"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lisabrounstein.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=474"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}